Accusurance

I have a grand (and probably unattainable) dream of inventing a word that will make its way into widespread usage in the English speaking world. I’ve tried with “unvaporia”, “shufflendipity”, “unprivacy”, “undergommed”, “disagreeaphobia”, “eco-busted”, “optionitis”, and “misambulist”.

I’m now having a try with …

accusurance. noun. A word or phrase that can either be an accusation or a reassurance, depending on the tone of voice you use.

As an example, in Microsoft SharePoint 2013 and later, if you initiate an action that doesn’t complete immediately you get told that the system is “Working on it …” along with the reassuring message that “This shouldn’t take long.”

Usually it doesn’t take long, but sometimes it does. Sometimes it drags on interminably, and leads to an accusatory response by the user of “This shouldn’t take long!”


Another example of accusurance is the phrase “nice one”, which can either mean a reassuring and gentle expression of appreciation, or a sarcastic accusation of having f***ed up.

SharePoint 2010 Storage Metric Borogoves

StorageMetricsIn SharePoint 2010 site settings there is an option “Storage Metrics” that purports to give you useful information about the size of sites and folders in SharePoint.

 

 

Cool. But, when you click on it you get a screen which says …

“Data shown on this page may not be up-to-date. Future visits to this page may contain more accurate results.”

StorageMetrics2

So what it’s saying is that its showing a bunch of numbers which may or may not be correct now, and may or may not be correct in the future, and good luck deciding if the numbers are or aren’t correct, now or in the future. (For the record – the numbers in the screenshot above are woefully incorrect.)

Why don’t they just show the text of “Jabberwocky” instead? It would be more meaningful and less infuriating.

Logitech SetPoint and Microsoft SharePoint

I just solved a tricky SharePoint 2010 problem at work for a particular user who, whenever they clicked on a Microsoft Office document to open it, Internet Explorer would hang. Other documents such as PDF’s would open OK.

In the end I found that the problem was caused somehow by the Logitech SetPoint software that had been installed relating to the Logitech mouse that the user had. Uninstalling the SetPoint software made the problem go away.